One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.
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I think back to some of the most trying periods of my life and realize: In the midst of feeling like I’ve lost everything, I feel the closest to myself, to divinity — to god. From death deciding to claim a friend when her life had just barely started to being cheated on by the person you thought you could trust — your mind goes numb with shock, then the rest of your body follows. It’s as if muscle memory regresses, and your knees forget to unbuckle itself — letting you crash to the floor; Your mind and body choose to not register the agony your heart is experiencing.
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