“The way out of hell is to take that pain you’re feeling, overcome it, and share it with others. The more you can impact, the more you can make your way out of hell.” – Sid Bala

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Oh boy…where do I begin with this episode? This one, in particular, holds a lot of weight to the values I cherish most in life and why this podcast even exists in the first place.

I remember the day I produced this episode poignantly more so than most other days that I could attribute down to two reasons:

1. New York City took my breath away quite literally with its wind chill as it was the first low twenties I’ve experienced since the last time I was in New York which was about a year ago.
2. In all the years I’ve known Sid, he has this type of cadence to his presence that’s both calm, resolute, and transformative. Anyone that ever anticipates hanging with Sid will inevitably know that the conversation to come is soul-stirring in the best possible way. (Sid, if you’re reading this, you know how highly I think of you – so let it happen.)

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Sid is a devoted father of two boys, takes part in some of the largest global investment banks in the nation, has an insane amount of wisdom, and has been a dear friend/mentor of mine, supporting me through the roller coaster of my life the last 5 years.

From advising me on my non-profit business ideas, watching me deliberate on my major personal life choices to entertaining my fascination with wild ice cream cone flavors, I know with utmost certainty that I can only extend my gratitude to him by sharing his knowledge and perspective on life with you all listening in today.

Although this post serves as a show note, more than anything – it’s my weird way of saying, “Thank you, Sid. For your kindness and friendship all these years. Life makes a lot more sense with you in it.”

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Shownotes:

[5:10] Exercising the Choice Muscle:

We build our confidence by doing the very thing that makes us uncomfortable. When we’re about to try something new, we do it by going through the fear and coming to the eventual realization that we didn’t die. It’s silly to look back on all of our moments and recall most of our climatic choices all boils down to this perpetual feeling of doom when in fact, it is the very thing that sets you free.

[9:00] Happy accidents and the point of planning. The optimal thing to do is to open yourself up to all outcomes, and with planning, you improve your chances to be lucky. Sid and I also discuss the process of teaching oneself to allow luck to happen.

[14:03] We shouldn’t place the entirety of our identity solely based on where we came from. This pigeon-holes our ability to move out of the story of happenstance into a life of action-taking.

[19:37] The pitfalls and irony of creation and consumption: If everyone was in the act of creating content, whose content can you consume knowing that your time is perpetually finite?

[21:20] We must create deliberate purposeful content that will stir the minds and hearts of our listeners, readers with intentionality. Intention to help, intention to change their life. Simply creating content isn’t enough to cut the noise anymore.

[23:00] The Self-Discovery Process

1. Going back and understanding who you are. Show me the data, journal, what does my daily life look like?
2. Tracing back the roots of pattern, where do I come from? Why do I do the things I do?
3. Who do I want to be? What does the future look like for me?

[27:00] What you feel and think you are and what the data shows can be extremely different. You can never be too sure, check the data. You must take care to not be fooled. The easiest person to fool is yourself.

[37:10] I recount with Sid how looking at life honestly can be painful. We talk about my relationship with my father and how the micro-decisions we make daily have a significant ripple effect on the course of how we shape our lives.

[42:00] Sid discusses how we can transform our pain into the power to change the lives around us. By changing the lives of others, we save ourselves from the old story.

[53:00] How the awareness of oneself makes us more selective to who we surround ourselves with. How do we choose our social group?

[1:02:18] Are we truly the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with?

[1:12:00] I deliberate with Sid on whether or not I should train for a marathon. And how this deliberation is an indication of doubting one’s own potential, running into a limiting belief that I will eventually overcome.

[1:20:30] How our live scripting exercise agreement in San Francisco years ago led me to where I currently am in life now.