Surround Yourself With People That Don’t Make You Self-Doubt | Michelle Saya

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I'm Michelle Saya!

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    I'm a scorpio moon-INFJ biz owner, mindset coach based in New York and love leaning into all things sacred. I help empaths transform their pain into purpose using the wisdom of the birth chart and tarot archetype embodiment. 

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October 22, 2020

Surround Yourself With People That Don’t Make You Self-Doubt

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

— Mark Twain

A lot of the times when we think about self-doubt, we blame the sole culprit to the internal dialogue we have in our heads. We question our ability to do things, to rise up to an opportunity where we can level up and shy away when we are confronted with the first signs of growing pains.

We don’t realize that a lot of the self-doubt we experience can stem from the people we surround ourselves with.

Sometimes a comment here or there from a trusted loved one — confidante, a can derail our progress rapidly because of their own scarcity mindset.

A simple comment such as:

“Hey, maybe you should stick with your nine to five job rather than pursue this project because where are you going to get the money?”

Or

“I don’t understand why you’re deciding to move in this direction. Isn’t the niche already saturated?”

There are so many different ways where self-doubt can creep up. We might write a book and pass it on to someone that we believe will give us the best feedback.

Or we might even receive unsolicited opinions — advice from people that don’t have the experience — or are at a place where we dream of reaching as our ultimate destination of progress.

The fact that these individuals are your loved ones so therefore you should listen to their advice is a dangerous misconception to go down on. Because they “believe” they have the right to step in and tell you what they think is best for you, if you don’t set the necessary boundaries to protect your internal belief system, their scarcity mindset can become extremely detrimental to your self-growth.

One of the biggest things that I’ve learned diving into entrepreneurship is realizing that as much as I love the people in my life, I have to be extremely conscious of which people I tell my projects, plans, desires, and goals.

If I took every single piece of advice my friends and family members gave me without vetting their qualification on the subject matter, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

Especially in the world of starting a business, or transitioning into the side hustling. A lot of our family and friends don’t quite understand why we put ourselves through the effort and struggle of building something of our own when collecting a paycheck every two weeks trumps their desire to not be dependent on employment.

Part of tapping into our unlimited potential is confronting our fear of taking big risks and risk failing.

Yet so many people talk up a good motivational rant but don’t have the actions to back up their preachy advice. They also don’t have the experience of taking these risks to be at a place in their lives where they can confidently tell you,

“Hey, I think you should go for it. I think you should build that agency. I think you should start that podcast. I think you should build that nonprofit charity. Go for it. And if it fails, it’s okay. Try it again. I’ll be there for you, but I believe that you will succeed.”

When we are at a point in our lives where we have that little voice in our head that makes us question what we’re doing…

You must cultivate trusted people on your side that possesses the attributes of being success-driven, optimistic, ambitious, motivational, believing that everything is possible.

These are all the qualities leading up to a healthy abundance mindset that is a game-changer in driving results and impact on reaching your goals.

Ambition is a two-way street. The quickest way to kill your ambition is to surround yourself with someone that doesn’t believe that they can achieve or meet up to the level of their own desires and ambition.

Some people are too afraid to dream big. People who have chosen to settle are in a natural cognitive bias where they must match their worldview to their belief system of a fearful, scarcity mindset.

And misery loves company — familiarity provides comfort. The people that are like this may not intentionally want to see us fail, not succeed, not take up on that project, not reach our potential. They just want your results to match the expectations of their limiting beliefs because it further validates the misconception that it’s okay to settle.

I truly believe that in order for you to be successful, you must find people that are truly on your team. Not only for you at your stage in life, but they all match up to the alignment of the vision that you want to become. Because without it, you are going to fall apart. The road to self-development, self-growth, and reaching your ultimate potential can be extremely lonely and isolating if you don’t choose your friends wisely.

Every single person in your life counts. Be selective in choosing who you share your ideas, dreams and hopes to.

Whether you’re consciously aware of it or not, the people that you have a close relationship with has embedded that belief within you — positive or not. So protect your beliefs. Protect your potential through the people you choose to surround yourself with.

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your empathic gide

I'm Michelle Saya!

LETTERS & NOTES

   I'm a scorpio moon-INFJ biz owner, mindset coach based in New York and love leaning into all things sacred. I help empaths transform their pain into purpose using the wisdom of the birth chart and tarot archetype embodiment.

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   I'm a scorpio moon-INFJ biz owner, mindset coach based in New York and love leaning into all things sacred. I help empaths transform their pain into purpose using the wisdom of the birth chart and tarot archetype embodiment.

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