I have a close intimate relationship with burning out. I get fatigued with exhaustion whenever I let the fear of not being present at every single one of my friends’ trump my desire for alone time.

After observing the same patterns of how I operate, there’s the inevitable side effect that happens when I feel accomplished by attending every single event I’m invited to, which is being whiplashed with longing for a lifestyle slowdown.

I long for sleeping in during the weekends.

Being able to take an “at-home vacation” without having to be something for someone else besides myself.

Relish in the blessing of being in my own stillness. I find myself fantasizing about being bored and taking pleasure in day-dreaming up new ideas for writing prompts, trips I would like to take, and spiritually nerding out to tapping into my own intuition as I engrossed myself in shower thoughts.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my friends. But when I find myself experiencing resentment and irritation — feeling like I’ve emptied out my humor, active listening, reliability where there’s none left for myself, there’s an internal void of dissatisfaction that rears its head like an ugly itch I can’t scratch.

I will say I’m getting better at being radically honest in handing out my yes’s and no’s when I’m presented with an invitation to hang out.

I notice when I become extremely deliberate on accepting invitations with careful consideration of my current state of mind and place in life, I’m way more appreciative, present, and can show up fully as my best self to my friends.

And when I find myself leaning towards declining an invitation to show up in someone else’s life, I excitedly know I’m tapping into the part of me that is ready to be nourished, self-loved, and cared for because self-preservation and replenishment is the name of the game.

Appreciating the joy of missing out to tend to my own pursuits has not only helped me create a world of inner peace and self-assuredness but also allows me to be more grateful for the moments I do spend with my loved ones. Give it a try.

Many believe that they need company at any cost, and certainly if a thing is desired at any cost, it will be obtained at all costs. We need to remember and to teach our children that solitude can be a much-to-be-desired condition. Not only is it acceptable to be alone, at times it is positively to be wished for. It is in the interludes between being in company that we talk to ourselves. In the silence we listen to ourselves. Then we ask questions of ourselves. We describe ourselves, and in the quietude we may even hear the voice of God.

— Maya Angelou, Even the Stars Look Lonesome